These words refer to the treating of another person as one’s inferior. Condescend suggests particularly the awareness of a social or class distinction, false or real, which one person bridges in dealing or speaking to someone beneath him. The person who condescends , however, calls attention to the difference and does not wish it forgotten. Once, this word was simply descriptive: Her Highness condescends to recognize the foreign ambassador. Nowadays, in our egalitarian world, the word has an almost exclusively negative implication: tourists who condescend to the "natives." Deign emphasizes choice; it implies that one could very well have chosen an opposite, perhaps more appropriate, course. It is not necessarily restricted solely to dealing with one’s inferiors: He didn’t deign to reply to his colleague’s accusation. The word’s extreme formality limits its use today, except for satirical effect: the salesgirl who actually deigned to wait on me.

Stoop was earlier like condescend in emphasizing social station and like deign in suggesting choice; but it now has uses mostly relating to a discreditable moral act: statesmen who stoop to exchanging political favours. Condescend might suggest a generally grand, arch or pompous behavior; stoop suggests single questionable acts. Unbend is more like condescend on this score, but its overtone is one of approval for a stuffy person who learns to relax or act less officiously.

• Why does she have to condescend to me all the time? Can’t she unbend a little and treat me like anyone else?

Patronize , even more than condescend , suggests haughtiness of bearing and an overtone of looking down on someone: a teacher who patronized his students by oversimplifying everything he taught them. Tolerate , in this context, has gone through several changes in usage. It has meant and can still mean simply to accept; society women who will tolerate eccentric guests so long as they are artists. The word at one point took on a note of reconciliation: learning to tolerate minority groups. Now this last use is avoided as resembling patronize or condescend too closely: Aboriginess who wish to be accepted, not merely tolerated .