These adjectives describe persons or actions that show a kind or courteous concern for other people. Considerate and thoughtful emphasize the unselfish spirit behind the act, the generous thought that prompts the deed. A considerate person is mindful of other people’s feelings, aware of their circumstances, and responsive to their needs. He considers consequences before he acts, feeling that he should spare others needless annoyance, difficulty or distress. A thoughtful person is considerate , but in a more positive way, having an active regard for others that leads him to anticipate their needs. He thinks of benefits he might bestow and then he acts, hoping to help others or to please them: thoughtful friends who offer to buy groceries for a sick neighbour; considerate people who try not to disturb a convalescent with their noise. Both considerate and thoughtful are often followed by of plus an object.

• He is considerate of older people; It was thoughtful of you to remember my birthday.

Thoughtful is also used for its connotations to describe a welcome remembrance: a very thoughtful gift.

Attentive emphasizes constant acts of courtesy, indicating an apparent thoughtfulness or devotion that may or may not be real. An attentive escort opens doors for his partner, offers her his arm, helps her with her coat, lights her cigarette. But he may be either gentleman or gigolo, either genuinely thoughtful and considerate or anxious to seem so for selfish reasons.

• She was attentive to her sick sister, whom she loved; He became very attentive to his aunt when he learned the old lady was rich.

Tactful and diplomatic emphasize method, an ability to handle sensitive people and situations gracefully without causing hurt or angry feelings. A tactful person is considerate of others and is careful not to embarrass, upset or offend them. He senses instinctively what to say and what to leave unsaid, often practising restraint or taking a round-about approach in order to be kind: a tactful suggestion that another hair style might be more becoming; He know it was a sore subject, and being tactful , he did not bring it up. Diplomatic is a more formal term than tactful and suggests a deliberate rather than an intuitive courtesy. It presupposes the special tact required of a diplomat ?skill in handling delicate or explosive situations, in mediating disputes, and in resolving differences through conciliation and compromise: a situation that requires diplomatic handling, not angry ultimatums.